Sermon for 11 April 2021

Sermon: Fred says the best word is a four letter word.

So last week I missed the service. Like the 58 weeks before that. Maybe it’s 158. See they said we had to have internet to get the sermon. There was a fella who came out to the cabin and tried to sell us that internet but we don’t even have two boats to put it between and we don’t do that much fishing anyway.
I do show up when I am preaching although I recognize there are limited numbers today. Apparently we are in the chartreuse zone this week. That was the name of a girl I dated at my family picnic. Anyway In case you haven’t figured it out, my name is Fred.

Anyway back to last week. I know some of you have heard the expression friends with benefits (Which as you get older means someone who can drive at night) but last week your minister said he heard “excuses with benefits”. People called in and said they couldn’t be there cuz they had other things to do, like – well I can’t mention them here cuz you would figure out who it was. The excuses varied but the benefit stayed the same. They got to stay in bed for the Sunrise Service.
Now just saying that term makes me wonder about the whole world we live in.
You see I am not what they would call a wise man. When I was going through grade school they often got my IQ and age mixed up, but you don’t have to be a rocket builder to know that people are just out of date. They use some funny words to describe what is going on.

You see I may not understand everything but I do know the sun don’t rise. It doesn’t set either. Nobody thought that since the greek chariots used to pull it across the sky.

Everybody says religion is backwards but I got to thinking about it. Religion does use a few funny words like transubstantiation. I always thought it was a power station below the dam in my river back home. But apparently it’s a religious thing

And then there’s pseudoepigrapha I thought that was the false fear of eating pigs but apparently it’s a bunch of books that originally got left out of the bible

But everything has its special words;
My favourite word in math class was Pi but I never got any.

Look at the medical profession and the words they use. That is, if you can read that piece of paper they send to the drugstore.
My cousin had a Myocardial infarction. I think it was something he ate.
Something I would never get is Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia. More commonly known as brain-freeze. You can figure out why I wouldn’t get it.

OR you might get an obdormition. That’s when your arm falls asleep.
I think they call it that cuz your arm is taking an obdormition from being useful.

My gramma used to say that you can cure a synchronous diaphragmatic flutter with a brown paper bag or just by holding your breath. Some uneducated people call it a hiccup.
And finally you should not sternutate in public especially right now.

And you think religion has weird words!

But it’s not just the medical profession. Take a look at the legal profession. If a lawyer tells you that you have an eminent domain, you might think they like your house but really they are telling you that the government can take your house if they want it. Bet that isn’t confusing.

And you don’t want to get the different professions mixed up. When I was in Sunday school I learned that Saul was after David but in court I learned that an after-davit means you got to swear.

If you’re in Lacuna you don’t have to obey the law cuz there is no law. That’s what it means in legal terms, which reminds me of traveling.

I have always wanted to go and spend time Incognito, or you might want to make a trip to Pekwachnamaykoskwaskwaypinwanik Lake. In case you are wondering it is a lake in Manitoba. In Cree it means: “where the wild trout are caught by fishing with hooks.” It is 31 letters long.

And you thought religion had weird words!

If you’re an architect you may want to copy some style, so instead of saying you copied it you just say it’s a pastiche (past itch). My dog has lots of those.
Or if you want to say that something is bent, you just say it is Curvilinear. I think you can get drugs for that.

Speaking of drugs, if you are looking for some at the pharmacy (which has nothing to do with the farm, you have to line up in a queue. That has to be the dumbest word in the world next to supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. The word Queue is just the letter Q followed by a bunch of useless other letters that have no sound. (I could make a political joke here, but I won’t)

I had a friend who got a degree in psychology and then another in reverse psychology so basically he ended up learning nothing.
Words are strange.
Right now we are in the grey zone but there is a tinge of red and we are hoping to go into the green or yellow zone. If anyone can tell me the difference between these colours I would be much obliged. I understand they are putting a grey light at the intersections and it means “lock your doors.”

Back to the sunrise /sunset thing. We should call the sunrise, “earth-turn-down time”, which would explain why it’s hard to get out of bed. The sunset is “Earth turn up”, which might explain some of the parties.
I never did get into the swear words cuz there has been some doozies but I can tell you that
“By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of purgatory! You need to learn the most important word there ever was or will be.

People have all kinds of fancy big words to make themselves look important, and describe who they are, but there is no word that makes you more important than this one.

It is all through the bible but the passage today from Corinthians says it better than anywhere else.

There is faith. There is hope but the most important word is love. Kind of funny that the most important word is only four letters long.

So between now and the earth-turn-down service next year, see how many times people can use that word, love to describe who you are and what you do with your life.

PRAYER
God, Jesus tells us to give in secret; to pray in secret and to love all others. Help us not to feel that we are more important than anyone. Help us not to raise ourselves. Help us not to describe ourselves in terms tha make us seem superior. Help us to be open-minded and genuine. Help us to forgive. Help us to be able to describe our lives as loving.
Thanyou for the return of spring and the way the seasons roll out one after another giving us variety and growth. Thankyou for the way the faith has unfolded over the centuries also giving us growth. Help us to continue to grow in love and faith.

Now we pray in the way Jesus taught us.
Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed by thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. lead us not into temptation. but deliver us from evil. for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory. forever and ever Amen

SERVICE April 11, 2021
Announcements
Etransfer info at bottom of page
Thanks to helpers: Cathy,
Opening Prayer
Hymn – Give to us Laughter
Scripture ! Corinthians 13: 1-7
Reflection Fred say the best word is four letters
Prayer
Lord’s Prayer
Hymn Come as a Child
Benediction

Go now in Peace
Go now in peace, Never be afraid
God will go with you, each hour of every day
Go now in faith, steadfast strong and true
Know God will guide you in all you do,
Go now in love and show you believe
Reach out to others so all the world can see
God will be there, watching from above
Go now in peace, in faith and in love
Amen, Amen, Amen

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